dude, where’s my legacy?

Article by missy on July 16th, 2008 at 12:02 pm

bush press conf 071508

There is so much lying, bullying and bad grace in Bush’s presser from yesterday that I can hardly repudiate him any better than to just let the moron whiner speak for himself.

Bush is the drunk who drives his car through a pedestrian crosswalk, up onto a sidewalk and into a street fair, killing or maiming all in his path, and then sues the bartender for negligence.

So, presented with limited interruption, YOUR PREZNIT:

THE PRESIDENT: Good morning. It’s been a difficult time for many American families who are coping with declining housing values and high gasoline prices. This week my administration took steps to help address both these challenges.

To help address challenges in the housing and financial markets, we announced temporary steps to help stabilize them and increase confidence in Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac… We must ensure they can continue providing access to mortgage credit during this time of financial stress.

…that my good buddy Alan Greenspan created in order to provide the illusion of economic stability so I could push through my tax cuts and illegal wars! hahahaha!

big-ass government

…I urge members to move quickly to enact the plan in its entirety, along with the good oversight legislation that we have recommended for both Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. … The newly proposed authorities will be temporary and used only if needed.

Because de-regulation got us into this mess, and de-regulation will get us back out of it!

And as we work to maintain the health of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, we’ll work to ensure that they remain shareholder-owned companies.

Yeah, because shareholder value is so much more important than, say, the strength of the economy or the stability of the dollar or the bond rating of the fucking U.S. government.

To help address the pressure on gasoline prices my administration took action this week to clear the way for offshore exploration on the Outer Continental Shelf… [T]he only thing standing between the American people and these vast oil resources is action from the U.S. Congress.

Really? Not the Republican governors of Florida and California?

Democratic leaders have been delaying action on offshore exploration and now they have an opportunity to show that they finally heard the frustrations of the American people. They should match the action I have taken, repeal the congressional ban and pass legislation to facilitate responsible offshore exploration.

econ 101

Any word on whether your buddies at Exxon Mobil have gotten around to using those 10,000 permits they’ve wedged up their corporate asses over the last decade?

It’s amazing what artificially holding down supply will do for prices – and what tying up assets (leases) will do for your stock price.

Congress needs also to pass bills to fund our government in a fiscally responsible way.

Says Mr. Giant Fucking Taxcuts.

I was disappointed to learn the Democratic leaders in the House postponed committee consideration of the defense appropriations bill, and they did so yesterday. They failed to get a single one of the 12 annual appropriations bills to my desk. In fact, this is the latest that both the House and the Senate have failed to pass any of their annual spending bills in more than two decades.

Well, this is the worst economy in 7 decades, so you might want to give them a little more time to look under the sofa cushions.

There are just 26 legislative days left before the end of the fiscal year. This means that to get their fundamental job done, Congress would have to pass a spending bill nearly every other day. This is not a record to be proud of, and I think the American people deserve better.

They can’t fix in 26 days what it’s taken 7½ years to fuck up, Georgie.

[D]espite the challenges we face, our economy has demonstrated remarkable resilience.

Having the dollar in the toilet does wonders for exports.

While the unemployment rate has risen, it remains at 5.5 percent, which is still low by historical standards.

Unless you count all of those working multiple part-time jobs, or underemployed, or those who’ve stopped looking for work because they’re too fucking discouraged, or the 150,000 people a month who come into the job market and can’t find jobs (but aren’t included in the unemployment count)…

And the economy continued to grow in the first quarter of this year.

Less than 1% for each of the last two quarters! Wooooohooooo!

We saw the signs of a slowdown early and enacted a bipartisan economic stimulus package. We’ve now delivered more than $91 billion in tax relief to more than 112 million American households this year.

…and by the time the stimulus out, I’ll be signing my Christmas pardons and smelling those Crawford tumbleweeds, so who the fuck cares?

Q Mr. President … there other entities in the economy that are so crucial to the stability and confidence in the economy — I’m thinking particularly of General Motors, which today is cutting jobs, announcing they’re going into the credit market to raise billions of dollars — are there other entities that are so crucial to stability that require government action to show support for them?

THE PRESIDENT: Government action — if you’re talking about bailing out — if your question is, should the government bail out private enterprise, the answer is, no, it shouldn’t. And by the way, the decisions on Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac — I hear some say “bailout” — I don’t think it’s a bailout. The shareholders still own the company. That’s why I said we want this to continue to be a shareholder-owned company.

“Bailout” doesn’t mean “buyout,” Fuckwit.

In terms of private enterprises, no, I don’t think the government ought to be involved with bailing out companies.

Really? Bear-Stearns, anyone?

Q Mr. President, in February you were asked about Americans facing the prospect of $4 a gallon gasoline and you said you hadn’t heard of that at the time. Gas prices –

THE PRESIDENT: Aware of it now.

Well, hooray for the bulldog.

Q Gas prices are now approaching $5 a gallon in some parts of the country. Offshore oil exploration is obviously a long-term approach. What is the short-term advice for Americans? What can you do now to help them?

THE PRESIDENT: First of all, there is a psychology in the oil market that basically says, supplies are going to stay stagnant while demand rises… And therefore, it seems like it makes sense to me to … help change the psychology, to send a clear message that the supplies of oil will increase.

Again, where are Exxon Mobil, Shell, BP et al in all of this? Are they planning to actually use the leases they already hold, or maybe operate refineries at full capacity for once?

And now, for you bulemics out there, some aural ipecac:

Yes, Ed.

Q Thank you, Mr. President. Good morning.

THE PRESIDENT: Thank you. It is a good morning.

Q It is.

THE PRESIDENT: Every day is a good morning when you get to serve the country.

BBBBLLLAAAUUURRRGGGHHHHH. [Wipes mouth on sleeve.]

Q Following up on the question about oil, in the past, when oil prices have gone up a lot, they’ve wound up going down a lot afterward. But I wonder if you’re able to say that oil prices in the future are going to come down a lot.

THE PRESIDENT: …Again, I don’t want to be a “I told you so,” but if you go back and look at the strategy we put out early on in this administration, we understood what was coming. We knew the markets were going to be tight.

…because from Day One, we knew we were going to take the Iraqi oil offline.

Oh, and let’s take the wayback machine and hear what Bush said repeatedly in 2000 about how to deal with high oil prices:

What I think the president ought to do is he ought to get on the phone with the OPEC cartel and say we expect you to open your spigots. One reason why the price is so high is because the price of crude oil has been driven up. OPEC has gotten its supply act together, and it’s driving the price, like it did in the past. And the president of the United States must jawbone OPEC members to lower the price.

I’m not sure how well that jawboning works when you’re on your knees (with your mouth full).

Q Thank you, Mr. President. I have a two-part question on the war, in light of increasing violence in Afghanistan. Do you believe current U.S. troop levels in Iraq are hindering efforts to put more U.S. troops into Afghanistan?

THE PRESIDENT:…[T]here is a tough enemy, and they’re brutal, and they kill at the drop of a hat in order to affect behavior.

Could they possibly be saying “Suck.On.This.“?

And they have no disregard [sic] for human life.

Like this?:

airstrike on afghan wedding party 070608

A U.S. military airstrike this week killed 47 civilians traveling to a wedding, the head of an Afghan government commission investigating the incident said Friday.
…
The group was targeted twice on Sunday, as they walked along with the bride from her village toward the groom’s house in another village, Shinwari said.

Funny how when we kill civilians, it’s a horrible mistake (repaid at about $2,500 a head – their lives really are worth less than ours), but when the bad guys kill civilians it’s a heinous crime.

democracy rockets

Q You never mention oil companies. Are you confident that American oil producers are tapping all of the sources they have out there, including offshore? And on Iraq, will you sign an interim agreement with Prime Minister Maliki on American operations in Iraq, leaving it to your successor to do a more permanent agreement?

THE PRESIDENT: There are — let me start with Iraq. We’re in the process of working on a strategic framework agreement with the Iraqi government that will talk about cooperation on a variety of fronts…

BLAH BLAH BLAH avoid the oil company question BLAH BLAH BLAH…

Let’s see here.

Q American oil producers?

THE PRESIDENT: Oh, what was the question again on that?

Q You talked about offshore –

THE PRESIDENT: What about them — do I think they’re investing capital to find more reserves with the price at $140 a barrel? Absolutely. Take an offshore exploration company…

Thanks for the oil bidness primer, but we’re looking for specific information here, guy. What are your buddies doing to increas supply NOW. With what they have in the ground an online NOW that’s not working at full capacity?

THE PRESIDENT: When will the economy turn around?

Q Yes.

THE PRESIDENT: I’m not an economist, but I do believe that we’re growing. And I can remember this press conference here where people yelling “recession this, recession that” — as if you’re economists. And I’m an optimist.

But not an economist.

THE PRESIDENT: …I’m sure you know this, April, but we haven’t built a refinery, a new refinery in the United States since the early ’70s. It makes no sense.

Could it be because no one’s applied for a fucking permit? Because they like to keep the supply of gasoline tight? YOU LYING FUCKNARD.

bush gone yet?