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It was a dark and stormy afternoon at Lloyd Center Mall. G-Men and their fearless leader Michael Chertoff were on scene to review the progress of TOPOFF 4 with the locals. All was quiet, until three highly trained dogs in the Lloyd Center parking garage alerted to the scent of explosives.

The area was cordoned off. Helicopters buzzed overhead as traffic was detoured away from Lloyd Center and Max Trains were rerouted away from the scene. Homeland Security Director Chertoff was whisked away to an undisclosed location.

The culprit?

Residue from TOPOFF’s own fake bomb that clung to officials’ vehicles from Tuesday’s dirty bomb exercise.

The Department of Homeland Security: Scaring itself shitless since 2002.

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